As almost every couple who is going through a divorce can attest, the process can be exhausting, stressful, and tearful. When you add kids to the equation, the divorce is often even more complicated and involved because you have the lives and well-being of your children to consider. No matter how much you despise your soon-to-be ex, it is very important that you do not share your feelings or emotions with your children. Children are more perceptive than most adults give them credit for and studies show that children often blame themselves for their parents divorce, especially if their parents are bad-mouthing each other.
The best way to avoid having your child feel responsible for your divorce or legal separation? Talk to them. Let them know that this difficult decision has nothing to do with them and that you still respect your ex — and then act like you do. Sending mixed messages to your children by saying one thing and acting another way will only confuse them even more and make them feel more responsible.
Here are 8 more ways to make sure that your child feels safe and loved during and after your divorce:
1. Visits – Arrive for visitations on time and consistently to avoid your child’s disappointment if you miss a scheduled visit. Make your children a priority!
2. Don’t argue with your ex in your child’s presence, and especially avoid arguing when talking about the child. Remember, if a child hears parents arguing he will likely think he is a cause of the discord.
4. Don’t talk about financial or legal issues when your child is present.
5. Don’t make your child responsible for passing information between you and your former spouse. Your child is NOT your go-between.
6. Don’t ask your child to spy on your ex-spouse; including asking about whether your ex is dating.
7. Don’t prevent your child from seeing their other parent as a way to punish your former spouse. The child is the one who ends up suffering.
8. Don’t trash your ex to your child.
Of course divorce and the child custody issues that follow will not be easy, but an experienced CA divorce attorney will help walk you through the process, ensuring that you have the best situation for you and your children.
If you are considering a divorce or legal separation in CA, contact the knowledgeable divorce and family law lawyers at Foresight Legal Group today.